Prison is generally associated with isolation and loneliness, but it doesn’t have to be. When you have lost everything, including your freedom, you can still choose your thoughts, and more importantly your attitude. With the right attitude, if you choose, you can find joy anywhere. Coming to prison, I have found that games and sports are a great way to break your focus, so you have a chance to notice your journey and learn to enjoy that process. Games can also promote community and combat loneliness. Believe it or not, incarceration is a great place to test the waters and see what you are good at. It’s also a place to try things you may secretly have always wanted to try. This is not the time to sit and obsess about your mistakes, instead, revisit your desires, passions, and think about the things that bring you joy. Relish in the silly challenges and don’t trip about inadequacies, we all have them. So, if you have a loved one incarcerated, encourage them to take off their mask and go learn to play again. If you are on your way to prison, open up your mind to new possibilities and get ready

The federal drug conspiracy laws stack the deck against the defendant. I cannot decide if I believe they were created with that intention in mind, or if they were written by people that have no understanding of addiction. After 7 years of being clean, I still remember all too well my addictive ways, behavior, and my crazy brain when I was in my active addiction. So, when I read about the elements of proof needed for the drug conspiracy laws and I approach understanding thinking back to how I was, it is all too clear that an addict is set up for failure and there should be no surprise that the prison system is bursting at the seams. An addict’s illness is used against them from every aspect, the federal government’s tactics like using ghosts instead of real evidence, makes a conviction as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. I want to set the stage and explain the depth of an addict’s mind before I tackle the elements of proof. I think back to the time frame my discovery covers and it was not like me or any of my codefendants got together and said things to each other

ILLINOIS SENATORS TAMMY DUCKWORTH, DICK DURBIN, AND 17TH DISTRICT REP CHERI BUSTOS RECENTLY SENT A LETTER ASKING THE BOP TO ANSWER 12 QUESTIONS AND SPOKE ABOUT IT ON A RADIO PROGRAM THE INMATES GOT TO HEAR. I DECIDED TO ANSWER THEM AND ADDED A FEW QUESTIONS I WOULD LIKE ANSWERED AND WOULD LIKE THE WORLD TO KNOW. I recently caught part of a radio news program talking about the letter the Illinois Senators and State Representative sent to urge all inmates and staff at the Federal Correctional Institute in Pekin be tested for COVID-19 and asking for answers to 12 simple questions. I may not have all the answers for the FCI, but I can answer some of those 12 questions about the Federal Prison Camp (FPC) that is located on the same property but never considered when the staff reports the numbers of positive cases. I think it is time to change that. So, before I get into the 12 questions presented, I would like to voice my concern and make perfectly clear how disturbed I am that no one is asking, talking about, or even seems concerned about FPC Pekin. I can assure you our situation is worthy

Let me be perfectly clear, I am not a doctor, nor am I an expert on anything. What I am is a recovering addict and for most of my adult life, I have been up close and personal with addiction. Sharing my stories has been cathartic for me. Writing has allowed me to organize my thoughts and bring awareness to areas of my life that I have never paid close attention to. Every story I tell is a personal part of me that I pray will help someone else. Once upon a time I stumbled across a medication by accident that I believe gave me a real advantage over my addiction. One that took away my cravings for drugs and even cigarettes. I would like to put this information out there for other addicts to be aware of. I want others to know what helped greatly hush my drug cravings and completely removed the desire to smoke without even having the intention to do so. It gave me unexpected strength and I believe changed the playing field in my brain to allow me to change my life. Read on to learn about the medication that I feel must be the

When you have been shown and told certain things about a group of people your entire life, you fall into a trap of other people’s perceptions, misconceptions, and beliefs. Thoughts predict feelings, and feelings and emotions lead to actions. So, if your beliefs make you think crazy, incorrect things about a group of people, it impedes hope for change and understanding. Then one day you might just meet someone from that group that shatters all you thought you knew. I never thought I would belong to a group of people that others consider outcasts, but here I am, an inmate, in prison, with a federal identification number, a felon, I am one of THOSE people I have been warned about. What I know most people think about inmates, I have come to find, is incorrect. I believe the more people are educated about who is currently sequestered in prisons, it might help to change beliefs and attitudes, and thus, change the prison system. I think it is so important to uncover the unseen of who make up these minimum-security camps; these inmates might just make you second guess what you thought you knew. I know I was wrong. So here

The corona virus pandemic has brought the entire globe to its knees and has brought the world of incarceration to a new level of punishment. I do not really have the words to fully describe the suffering, stress, and helplessness that inmates have been struck with across this country. If you have a loved one incarcerated, this is a tough time for them, no matter what facility they are in, or what is happening there, I can assure you, it’s a stressful time. These are unprecedented times for all, but for inmates that are out of sight and out of mind, we are scared. I remember when it seemed like nothing was going on, but it was just the calm before the storm. Then right around the time I started hearing people on the news use the term “herd immunity, “ the busses started rolling and the transfers from facility to facility began. Herd immunity is nothing less than cruel when it comes to the prison system. Those transfers ignited the virus like a wildfire and has led to even darker days for so many prisoners. The prison system has managed to cross into the territory of cruel and unusual

I have been clean from drugs for over 7 years and I love it. I feel accomplished in that it seems I have overcome the cravings, the daydreaming about higher times, and I now refuse to trade war stories with anyone about that life. I am happy with my change and I strive to continue to get stronger and healthier. I know I am prone to self-destructive behavior and I know I will have to pay close attention to my mindset and behaviors for the rest of my life, and I will happily accept that challenge. Coming to prison I was kidnapped from everything I found to be comfortable. Before I turned myself in, I had made a deal with myself that I would refuse medication for mental issues and do my best to power through with exercise as well as working on my mental strength. So, I have consistently worked out like a raving lunatic for all the years of my incarceration and it has kept me from needing any kind of medications and got me fitter than I have been in years. Although, like so many humans do, I often reach for sugar as a little something to

After we have been under the stay in place guidelines for 88 days, we were looking forward to phasing up and today was to be the beginning of this new world for us. Phasing up meant more recreation time on the track, more commissary, more freedom and we were all starting to breathe a sigh of relief and started to believe that the normalcy we used to know was inching its way back to us. On the very day the change was supposed to take place it all came to a screeching halt. Relaxing restrictions also mean the BOP would be firing back up the human trafficking and moving inmates around the country but with covid-19 wreaking havoc across the country it was required to test those about to move. Several campers were going to be headed to RDAP (residential drug treatment program) at another prison and were tested positive for Covid and one of the tests came back positive. This is my journal/recap of the nightmare in this prison camp when the Covid came to visit. Monday 6/29/20 Day 88 Today was to be the big day of changes and we were looking forward to more freedom and more

After I was indicted, I spent three years on pretrial, walking among the free folk in a daze wondering when the sky was going to fall. When it was finally time to take my plea, I had to turn myself in to the marshals and go into custody to wait for sentencing. This meant I was going to a federal holding facility for an undisclosed amount of time and not knowing how much time I would get at sentencing. Turning myself in was like throwing myself into a rabbit hole that I had no clue when I would finally hit the bottom, or about the journey I would have along the way. The stories and experiences I have had are never dull. The first week of incarceration proved to be the craziest of all. Hope you enjoy this story… When I turned myself into the marshals, they took me to CCA, aka federal holding, in Leavenworth, Kansas. I knew I was lucky because when my indictment first came out, I had spent a few days at another federal holding facility. It was a small county jail and it was bad. It was so bad they did not give you underwear